Travel Log: Vermont

Day 1: The Drive

We left at around 9:30 as we embarked on our 6 and a half hour drive. On the way, we picked up Paul, my Dad's friends who would be staying with us at the condo in VT. I read half of Terry Pratchett's "Thief of Time" on the way up. When we got there, we opened christmas gifts. My mother Got bathing suits, my father got new shorts, and I GOT TICKETS TO SEE THE JERSEY BOYS!!! Ok, so after dinner (spaghetti and meatsauce made from venison) we watched "The Dark Knight" and went to sleep.

Day 2: The rough day

We went skiing at around 10 in the morning. It kinda sucked. eh, actually it was alright. I only skied until 1:30 though, too tired. That night, we had a HUGE dinner of beef, salad, grilled asparagus, and lobster. I then took a shower and relaxed some more.

Day 3: The Russians are coming!

We went skiing again, and it was much more fun. The conditions were much more favorable, and I felt a little less sore and tired, as I got accustomed to the altitude and climate. That night, we ate tacos, and watched blazing saddles as well as Jack*ss number two. (Its a movie Ms. Morrison!) It wasnt all fun and games though. I went to the hot tub that night, and this HUGE family of russians was there. Seriously, there were at least 20 of these guys. Ok, So after my soaking, I go into the sauna and see them throwing snow on the heater, the heater is electric, and produces a dry heat, so any water will cause it to short out. So I say to them, "Dont do that" and this fat one covered in hair (like something out of Borat) says "Who says" in a thick accent. I reply "The sign outside, it says no water on the heater." And this young russian goes "Its snow, its different than water," in an equally horrific accent. The fat one then goes "If you have problem, too bad." I then called the front desk and OWNED THOSE RUSSIANS! YEAH! IRON CURTAIN MY FOOT!

Day 4: The drive home.

We spent all morning loading up the car. The drive home stunk. Im now writing this about an hour after arriving. Time to eat pizza.

Indiana Jones: the musical!

Characters:





Indiana Jones: You know the scoop. Fedora, middle aged, cynical.


Colonel Dietrich: Main antagonist. Aged Nazi officer. Takes his job seriously, and doesnt see what he does as Evil so much as necessary for his country.


Marion Ravenwood: Love interest for Indy. Tough, independant, and intelligent.


Belloq: French. Indys Archaeology rival


Salla: Indy's longtime friend and owner of an archaeology dig team. Egyptian. Bulky, deep voiced, and warm hearted.


Major Toht: Much more sinister and evil than Dietrich, Toht enjoys torture and pain and will use both to get what he wants


Marcus Brody: Small role. Curator of a museum. old and wise.


Satipo: Indy's jungle guide during the beginning of the play. A coward but still trained to survive the wilderness.


German Soldiers: Tenors and baratones. Always Listen to Dietrich


Cairo denizens: folks who live in cairo... duh.








Songs in order:


ACT ONE:





Overture


Indiana Jones and the song of theme!- Indiana Jones and Satipo


In my hands- Indy, Belloq, and Marcus


I have a bad feeling about this- Marcus and Indy.


Its been so long- Indy and Marion.


Its gotta be somewhere! Indy and Sallah


In my hands: Reprise- Marion


Its Gotta be somewhere!- Sallah, Indy, and Cairo Citizens.


Act I finale- In my hands- Sallah, Indy, Marion, Dietrich, Toht, Belloq, German soldiers.





Act II





Ive got a bad feeling about this- Toht, Dietrich, German soldiers.


Archaeology is more than digging- Sala



Making it up as I go- Indy, Sala, Toht, and Marion.



Ive got a bad feeling about this (reprise)- Toht, Dietrich, german soldiers



Indiana Jones and the song of theme (finale)- Full company

My Budweiser commercial

Reeeeal men of genius...

Today, we celebrate you Zane

Zaaaane yeeeah

Everyday, you make those around you feel better about themselves... by showing how much of a dork you are...

Oooh, Who watched the history channel last night?

Your social blunders list includes such gems as "the spanish were very rude," "I wish I was a zombie" and "Nazicles"

Dont forget finding nemo

Your useless roster of hobbys includes Warcraft, nerdy movies, and of course, playing a chinese guy in the play

Bo-Doh-dee-oh!

So whether it be memorizing the spelling of "Sphincter" at a crucial time, showing your physical ability by falling down the stairs, or memorizing the lyrics to "Knights of the round table," you bring laughter and joy to those around you... by being a total goon

We dance whenever were able- *falls down stairs*

So today we salute you, Zane Schacht. Keep on accidentally saying something that doesnt sound dirty in your mind but really is, or knocking down loud metal objects during play preformances, or coming up with stuff noone in their right mind would say out loud

Heath ledger isnt dead, just under the witness protection program

So have a cold one, Zane Schacht. No, We dont mean a beer, we mean an ice pack for your foot you crushed under that scenery lumber before.

Reaaaal men of geenius

My nation of Zane-sylvania

I bet many of you are reading this expecting to find a silly, satirical jabbering of nonsense satirizing my personal beliefs and ideas. WELL THINK AGAIN FOOLS! This is SERIOUS. This imaginary country is going to WORK, whether you like it or not!

Step 1: Location, Location, Location.

I will barter with the country of Romania to sell me a small part of its heavily forested land. Its best for a fledgling nation if Its as secluded as possible. Logging will be prohibited, however, and humans shall build around the forests rather than destroy them

Step 2: Don't mess with me: Armed forces.

The militia of Zane-sylvania will be mostly guerrilla warfare. We shall use our forests to our advantage, and the sniper training will be a must for all volunteers in the militia.

Step 3: HEY! MUST BE THE MONEY!; Economy.

The Economy of Zane-sylvania will be all about tourism. In a world like ours, people will pay good money to enjoy a rural area. Zane-sylvania will be all they could want and more. Another major export could be minerals, but only in regulated amounts. Agriculture could play a major role possibly.

Step 4: The Anthem.

The national Anthem of Zane-sylvania will be the "When I'm calling you" song from Dudley Do-right. Don't argue.

Step 5: Allies:

The country should be strongly allied with the central European countries, as well as Russia. The United States can be neutral. England is neutral too.

Step 6: Government:

The country would be run by a council of citizens. This council members are determined by the votes of the public. I will play no part in this government, I just provide the country's name.

Ok, lets open this baby up! LONG LIVE ZANE-SYLVANIA!

The Baddest Bad Guy Ever: Andrew Ryan

All of my friends know that Im obsessed with the video game "Bioshock." What sells this game, however, is its main antagonist, Andrew Ryan. Ryan drives the story line in an impressive way; He provides the setting, atmosphere, and enemies you have to fight. Allow me to elaborate; Andrew Ryan was born in the soviet union, pre-Lenin era. As he grew older, he realized the horrors of communism, and instead fled to the United States. Much to his disappointment, the US was not what he was promised; Financial and social equality, and a lack of true creativity or progression. The final straw was when the United states bombed hiroshima. Having lost all his patients with the world, Ryan and his colleagues built an underwater city known as Rapture. This entirely self sufficient utopia took only a handful of societys brightest and best Artists, athletes, industrialists, and Scientists. The Utopia quickly became a Distopia, however, as science began to overthrow morality and personal freedom became anarchy and corruption.

What makes Andrew Ryan such a great villain is the fact that he isnt necessarily Evil. In fact, in his eyes YOU are the antagonist, coming to plunder his city. Hes not a bad man, hes simply a visionary who sees you as a threat. Of course, hes no nancy-boy. Andrew Ryan is stern, severe, threatening, and most of all, Dangerous. When he means to achieve something, he does it, and doesnt stop until the job is done. Even with his dying words, he shows that you're just as much of a villain as he was. HES SO COOL!

Quotes:

"I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No!' says the man in Washington, 'It belongs to the poor.' 'No!' says the man in the Vatican, 'It belongs to God.' 'No!' says the man in Moscow, 'It belongs to everyone.' I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Rapture, a city where the artist would not fear the censor, where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality, Where the great would not be constrained by the small! And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well. "

"What is the difference between a man and a parasite? A man builds, a parasite asks 'Where's my share?' A man creates, a parasite says 'What will the neighbors think?' A man invents, a parasite says 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God...'"

"I believe in no God, no invisible man in the sky. But there is something more powerful than each of us, a combination of our efforts, a Great Chain of industry that unites us. But it is only when we struggle in our own interest that the chain pulls society in the right direction. The chain is too powerful and too mysterious for any government to guide. Any man who tells you different either has his hand in your pocket, or a pistol to your neck."

"A man chooses, a slave obeys."

The Producers!

The Producers by Mel Brooks is the greatest musical ever written and performed. Here’s the scoop, it tells the tale of Cowardly accountant Leopold bloom, and down-on-his-luck producer Max Bialystock. Together, they set out to produce the worst play ever on Broadway Here’s the reason: If a Broadway show closes before the scheduled ending, the producers don’t have to pay the backers, who put stock in the show, and take their money and run. So Max and Leo have to find not only the worst play ever written, but the worst director and actors. The play they choose is "Springtime for Hitler," written by the eccentric, manic, and loveable neo-Nazi Franz Liebkind. "Its the mother load!" exclaims max as he reads the Hitler praising dialogue and music. After meeting Franz and gaining the rights to the play (after being forced to sing and dance the fuehrer’s favorite tune : Der Guttentag Hop-clop), Max and Leo need to find the worst director in town, and Max knows just the man for the job; The flamboyantly gay Roger Debris. After gaining his allegiance by promising him the Tony for the show, Max needs the money to finance the play. It’s revealed that he is a male prostitute for old ladies. After raising two million dollars ("There’s a lot of little old ladies out there!) Nothing seems to be in the way of the Doomed show. That is until Franz, who was going to play adolf Hitler in the show, ironically breaks his leg on opening night. The only person who knows his lines is Roger, so instead of the show being a serious, historically accurate homage to Hitler, it becomes a silly comedy, and the show is actually so tasteless and whacked that is HILARIOUS! This means bad news for the producers, and they go to prison for fraud. They are pardoned after their NEW musical "Prisoners of Love" Brings "the joy of music into the hearts of every rapist, murderer, and mugger at sing-sing." Leo and Max go on to produce more tasteless musicals (south Passaic, a streetcar named Marty, Cats) and Roger goes on to become a famous Broadway actor. Even Franz gets a happy ending and becomes a famous playwright. In the end, alls well that ends well, and the producers are silhouetted against a wall of light bulb signs blazing their names.

What makes "The Producers" So funny is that it basically follows the same formula as the fictional play. Its racist, raunchy, prejudice, and rude, but all these traits make it very funny; its so bad, its good. The characters are all very personable and likeable (Franz is my favorite character) and the music... geez, don’t get me started on the music. I love this musical to a ludicrous extent, and I REALLY hope they do it at the school because I already know pretty much all of the lines. Here’s a few samples:


"Ze Fuhrer vas not a mousy little mamas boy, ZE FUHRER VAS BUTCH!"
"I was scared that I was going to go to jail, but I didn’t realize that I was already... in Jail! I spend my life counting other people's money. People I’m smarter than, BETTER THAN! When am I going to get my share, when is it going to be bloomsday! I want, I want, I WANT EVERYTHING IVE EVER SEEN IN THE MOVIES!"
"Bloom, I’ve got the money, now all we gotta do is put on the biggest flop in history!"
"Not many people know zis, but ze fuehrer was a TERRIFIC dancer."
"Quick darling, back in the closet!"

10 minutes of insanity: A blog by Zane

FISHSTICKS! The emperor has no clothes, take a picture! dried frog pills. That swordfish sure looks shifty.... ITS A TRAP. Hold on a moment, please. Whazzat? NO! Igloos are attacking the swedish bank of bacon grease! Get the president on the line. I DONT KNOW! HEHEHEHEHEH! No way! SHUT UP GRIZZLY BEAR BREATH! ummmm... ok? listen up noobs, in my squad you do what I say, so throw those potatoes into those mailboxes! I call it, THE CUIZANARTAGRAMAPHONE, dear god its reached CRITICAL MASS! Im hungry. Nachos sound good. NO LENNY I WILL NOT THROW YOU THROUGH A WINDOW. Gulp. I have your knife mr. Roat! ZAPPLE DAFFLE DOOF! The human torch HATES RAIN! The color brown makes me nervous. Penny arcades abound in the glorious land of WISCONSIN! Never you mind Mr. Willikins! Que Cristo? Bawbbidy boopy? I like sausages. ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH MY FRIENDS! ONCE MOOOOORE! CHARGE! Oh dear, I seem to be oozing blood from every hole on my face. Wait a minute, make that every hole on my entire body. Sizzle grams; send a letter to your loved ones, then give them third degree burns! ITS THAT EASY! We're hungry hungry hippos, hungry hungry hippos, we should really go on a diet.

Oh no, 3 minutes to go!

Sour cream and onion sauce is all over the bathroom! That boy needs therapy Mrs. Destructor. Christmas lights taste like lighting. NOOOOOOOOO! Wake up bacon bits! I cant feel my lungs! Do I have a pulse? HRUUUUGHH! Im ok folks, just slight radiation burns! WIZZLE WAZZLE FEE FAI FO FAZZLE! Knicker Knockers. Kaboom!

You have just witnessed 10 minutes of typing with no thought process or direction. Cherish that memory, for in this world, everything must have a structure, a story, a purpose. I say no! I just stare at a wall and let my fingers fly.

Thats probably not a stable idea is it....

Geez, did I really type that?

Journal Time: Blog-o-sphere!

I've been really bogged down with work at school over the last couple of weeks. These butty assignments have included MAJOR persuasive essays and various tests and quizzes on the grapes of wrath, Lab reports abound and TONS of tests in math and science, AND various scripts and projects in Creative Writing. Heres the weird part though; I have nothing due today. No tests, no quizzes, only one class with homework. I feel empty inside! Its just plain awkward! Its amazing how school can have that effect on a persons mind. For example, after a school play is over, I often feel awkward going home on the normal bus. So, not doing the play has had a less favorable reaction than I hoped for. Alot of people are all like "SAY WHAAAT!?" when I tell them the truth. I just dont have time for it! Im gonna miss a week of school in Mexico, and Pilot season starts at the end of January, so Im gonna go on a LOT of auditions. Plus, (and I hope Perry doesnt read this) I honestly don't really like that play so much. SO SUE ME!

Raking... and Fight Club!

Boy, I sure do love raking! Isnt it delightfully futile how as you pick up leaves, new ones just blow in their place? Even better is how your hands smell like decaying leaves for the whole day. Seriously, sometimes I just want to take a flamethrower to my yard. I should probably get back to raking, but I would much rather blog right now. So anyway I just watched that movie "Fight Club." Pretty wild. I wish I had a split personality that made me do really awesome things... well, not the whole destruction of property and financial chaos thing, but you get the idea. My split personality wouldnt be Brad Pitt though... It would be Abraham Lincoln. Nah, Honest Abe wouldn't do very cool things. ok ok ok, I got it! My split personality would be Bender from Futurama, yeah. That would be awesome. I think I have a SERIOUS problem with Zombies right now. Every other night I have a nightmare about them. Seriously though, they are so scary. RANDOMNESS OVERDOSE! EXPLOSION IMMINENT IN 3! 2! 1! ......

The Story of Hans Hasenpfeffer

Hans Hasenpfeffer tripped over a dozing man while strolling to the bratwurst barbecue. He simply chuckled and heaved his pudgy lederhosen clad body wobbly to his feet and brushed himself off. Hans counted down the days on his calendar for Oktoberfest. It was his promised land, a week of nothing but pretzels, bratwurst, oom-pah music, and controlled chaos of partying. His father took him to his first Oktoberfest when he was only six, and ever since he saw it as the holiest week of the year. He sat down on a birch wood bench, which sagged under in weight, and joined in a drunken rendition of “Take Me Home Country Road” with a droopy eyed American and Japanese man. He smiled to himself and began to devour a spit-roast chicken. Little did he know that a dark shadow loomed on the horizon.
The Oktoberfesters noticed the growing shadow as I darkened the stuffy tent, and they recognized it immediately. “Oh no, they’re back!” cried Hans’s friend Heinrich Von Vindow-Vasher. The Eiffel tower hovered over the green German horizon, massive rockets attached to its four bases. Piloting the evil construct was none other than Pierre the Fighter pilot.
“Denizens of Oktoberfest!” he shouted in a thick accent, “Cease this festival at ONCE! The consumption of alcohol is no stable activity for a cultural celebration! You should celebrate with paintings and class like we French!”
“Do you mean “we French” as in the group of you, or Oui French which means yes French?” shouted a German Tuba player from the crowd.
“It doesn’t matter,” Hans interrupted, “I’ve been to every Oktoberfest since I could walk upright, and no Legionnaire is going to stop me!” Hans grabbed every remaining untapped keg and barrel, hopped in his multicolored Volkswagen bus and drove to the Berlin science center’s centrifuge. After intense shaking and spinning, the canisters vibrated with dangerous gaseous tension. Hans Lugged the bursting barrels back to his van, and sped back to the festival, where Pierre and the crowd was still arguing about the “we French” statement.
Hans stood triumphantly and lined up his munitions, oompa music in his ears and pride in his heart.
“LE CHAAAAARGE!” Pierre shouted and the French monument slowly began its rocket boosted advance towards the puny beer tent. Hans picked up an oompa drummer’s mallet and struck the corks and taps on the barrels. The canisters shot at the Eiffel tower, foam trailing behind, driven by sheer gaseous pressure. After several direct hits, the tower was covered in ale, and the rockets combusted the monument into a massive flaming spire. “If I go down, I go down in flames!” cried Pierre as the Eiffel Tower listed to the side and exploded. Hans gave a hearty red faced smile, and with his friends hobbled back into the tent to have a congratulatory pretzel.
“Long live Oktoberfest!” cried Hans. They cheered and began devouring a savory pig roast, knowing that next year’s would be just as fun.

Surviving an Action Movie

Lets start off simple here. If you find yourself in a movie, you will pe pit against an antagonist. This antagonist will ruin your life, and it is your purpouse to defeat this villain. DO NOT ASSUME THIS ANTAGONIST HAS BEEN DEFEATED UNTIL YOU SEE HIS BODY OR REMAINS! Too many times has a character been killed off because they assumed "Theres no way he could have survived that fall!" and then bam! Right in the kisser.

Secondly, If you run into a female character who talks alot, YOU WILL END UP WITH HER. Believe me, it doesnt matter how much you both cant stand eachother in the beginning of the plot, the director considers this conflict "Dynamic Romantic Tension."in lamen's terms, you two will be marching down the aisle by lunchtime.

The scientist character always dies first. Trust me. If you find yourself in a movie, and your GPA is equal to or higher than 4.5, kill yourself. DO IT. DO IT NOW.

DO NOT EXPECT TO MARCH RIGHT UP TO THE VILLAIN AND DEFEAT HIM! Noooo, you have to work your way up, take out his henchmen first, than his lieutenants, than his second in command (the female character will probably take out the only other female character in a catfight) and finally, you beat him one on one, probably through an explosion, avalanche or other chain reaction. Remember rule 1!

Are you holding a gun in the beginning of your journey? Yes? Throw it off a cliff. Believe me, youre going to get less use out of that thing than a fork at KFC. Either youll be out of bullets, or it will be just out of reach when you most need it. I know, its crazy, but believe me, it happens all the time.

When you finally defeat your villain, You must say a witty or imposing line or quip. If you don't, the villain will keep coming back scarred or replaced with robotic body parts until you do. Take for example, jaws from James Bond. Seriously, How many times has that guy died?

DO NOT GET INTO A CAR. TRUST ME. CARS = BAAAAAD! Either it will break down, run out of gas, get its tires blown out, etc. Instead, grab a nice motorcycle. You'll be fine, trust me.

The bad guys have terrible aim. Take advantage of this. Allow them to shoot at you as much as possible before actually taking action. Its fun!

THANK YOU FOR READING ZANE'S ACTION MOVIE SURVIVAL GUIDE! With these rules you will be more than prepared for your poorly constructed plot and lousy character design!

You may be a sailor if...

Ok, first off. SAILING IS THE MOST PAINFUL SPORT ON THE PLANET. Now that that's out of the way, Me and my friend lindsey came up with some jokes about sailing. Just but "You might be a sailor" after each one.

-if your head looks like a potato from chernobyl.
-if youve ever sprained your ankle and were told to "Walk it off"
-If youve ever been sung by a jellyfish in your eye and were told to rub dirt in it.
-If youre willing to sail in an industrial shipping lane, but the sound of thunder makes you cringe.
-If youve ever touched the side of the River Lady... while it was moving.
-If you see the Mr. Clean magic eraser as the greatest invention of the 20th century.
-If you see the Toms River as the worlds biggest toilet.
-If the golfers at the toms river country club want impale you with a golf club.
-If you have ever guarded a flag pole with the will to maim anyone who gets in your way.
-If youve ever considered a 20 knot wind as "A nice breeze"
-If youve ever flipped off a fishing boat full of old people.
-If you cant walk down a hallway without at least murmuring "STARBOARD!"
-If youve ever held onto a moving motor boat with your teeth.
-If you see a pocket knife as a tool everyone should carry.
-If youve ever cursed 20 times in one sentence.
-If you have the urge to spin around every time you bump into someone in a hallway.
-If youve ever gotten a life jacket tanline.
- If you see nothing dangerous about slaloming the seaside bridge's concrete supports while in an 16 foot fiberglass boat.
-If your automatic answer for every problem is "Duct Tape and vinegar"

Ill come up with more as I think of them. If anyone who reads this is a sailor, be sure to add your own. Ive got pages of these!

Math and the universe

HAve you ever truly wondered about the symbol "Pi." That little symbol, that little function we all take for granted as we punch the keys on our calculators, Is infinite. Infinity. It will never and can never stop. It blows your mind. This is a two dimensional symbol that moves without moving, it forever calculates new decimal places in the constant pursuit of perfection. Incredible. The entire universe contained in a little symbol. The universe essentially works in numbers. Planetary orbits have algorithms, Comets have calculated trajectories. And we humans are the only ones in the solar system who have figured it all out.

Have you ever just stared at the sky and thought? I did yesterday. As I stared at the sunset, I slightly raised my eyes a bit and soon I was staring straight up, straining my neck. I realized then, that my gaze continued on for an infinite amount of lightyears, With new planets, galaxys, and even universes to be discovered. I wonder what other universes are like. Maybe they're a nicer place. Oddly enough, as I stared into the abyss, I no longer feared death, (which I do on a regular basis). Theres so much Im unaware of in this existence, so much that I could learn. so much, in fact, that it would be impossible to learn it all. This pleased me, alot. I knew then that no matter what happened to me or what I did, that great big universe we merely take a speck of will keep on existing, keep on expanding. I've never been one for religion, but I suddenly embraced a higher power in my existance- the universe itself. Earth is simply a speck of dust on the dashboard of reality. A breeze could wipe it away. And Im just fine with that. In fact, I almost feel pride in the fact that we as humans have existed this long. Have stood against a harsh and cruel universe surrounding us. Come on universe. Im ready to take what you throw at me. Ill be ready and waiting.

Journal time: Beef Jerkey

Do you know what the greatest invention on earth is? I'll tell you... its not penicilin, its not bulletproof vests. It is'nt even fire itself. Its Beef Jerkey. Thats right... that novelty food you non-believers have shunned for so long as a piece of simple dried beef is the material equivalent of Nirvana (not the band). Why, you ask? This glorious snack has the power to enslave the minds of Humans. I could say, "So-and-so, fetch me a SANDWICH!" and bada-bing, I will have a sandwich in due time. True but unknown facts: Beef Jerkey started the American civil war. The confederacy raided the national supply of beef jerkey, but used the raid on harpers ferry as a cover up. Beef Jerkey caused the nixon-watergate scandal. The incriminating tapes would have gone unheard, if it werent for a bag of beef jerkey resting in a window that a passerby saw while going for an evening walk and immediately ran for the all-powerful beef treat. Scientists have even found traces of Element J (Jerkey) in the craters of the arizona desert, suggesting that A massive comet made of Beef Jerkey Killed the dinosaurs. BEHOLD THE JERKEY! RESPECT THE JERKEY! FEAAAAR THE JERKEY! Thank You.

Discovery Channel.

Have any of you guys seen that new Discovery Channel commercial with the singing. Well, here goes nothing!

*Commercial opens with bus pulling into front of school*

I love the hallways. [student walking in front entrance]
I love the locker rooms. [Gym Student]
I love the theater. [thespian]
I love to push my broom. [janitor]
I love this High School, and all its craziness [police officer]
Boom-de-ada Boom-de-ada Boom-de-ada Boom-de-ada.

I love to write stuff, [Ms. Morrison]
I love to sleep in tents [senior]
I love to play sports [jock]
I love the elements. [Mr. Baumgart]
I love this High School, and all its sights and sounds [Stanziano]
(Chorus)

I love to factor [Ms. Besante]
We all love caroling [chorus students]
I love to eat lunch [student walking downtown]
We love to block the wings [pair of students making out]
We love the whole school, now can we please go home!! [student body on bleachers]
(Chorus)


There you go! If you have no idea what Im referencing, just look up "I love the whole world" on youtube. Its a wonderful commercial.

The best audition of my life (a memoir)

It had been an excellent day. My first trip into the city alone had been a complete success, and the audition had gone wonderfully. Little did I know that it was all about to change.

As I walked out of Abrams casting agency, I took in a deep breath of that polluted city air that I love so much. Something was wrong though. Mixed with the stench of exhaust, dust, and Body odor which the city is so well known for, A strong tinge of decay lingered. Suddenly, a moving manhole cover caught my eye. At first I assumed it was simply a construction worker, coming up from underground for a coffee or sandwich. I then saw the decayed flesh, heard the mindless groan, and smelled the horrible stench that I would remember for the rest of my days. New York City was being invaded... by ZOMBIES!!!

Thinking fast, I picked up a shovel from a nearby road work area.
"all right, you brain munching fiends, they dont call me ZANE THE PAIN FOR NUTHIN!" I said, hoping to scare the zombies just a little bit. I then remembered that Zombies dont feel fear, so I rethought my strategy and smashed the limping ghoul right over the skull. One down, countless more to go. I realized that If I were to survive, I would have to catch the 5:50 PM ferry to atlantic highlands. I glanced at my watch and saw I only had 30 minutes left. It was just then that I saw an unfortunate pedestrian get overtaken by a zombie from the roaring 20's era (he kept on charleston-kicking the poor man) and I rushed over and took his bike. I may be no genius or soldier, but any fool knows that zombies certainly arent the fastest threat out there.
I also managed to pick up a fallen police officer's handgun with 6 bullets in the magazine. "Alright Zane," I thought to myself, "Time for the role of a lifetime, the hero!"

Unfortunately, my speed advantage soon dissapeared. I saw 3 swervy taxi cabs turn onto seventh avenue behind me. The living dead WERE DRIVING CARS! A large cab pulled up next to me and rolled down the window.
"Youuur on the caaaaash Caaaaaaaab" The miserable wretch moaned.
"I'd like to make a street shout out!" I replied as I shout out his tires and skidded onto 35th street.

Just a few more blocks. Just a few more and I would be alive. I felt the sweat running down my face, my blood pumping in my ears. I managed to jump off the dock just as the ferry pulled away. I couldnt believe it.... I had survived a zombie uprising. "That will make quite a blog!" I panted to myself as I walked inside the ferry. I wondered if the pilot had known about this horrible day and if it was known by people outside the city. I walked up the stairs to the bridge (thats the control room for all you landlubbers) and said "Hey man, thanks for sticking around for me. I would have been a gonner if you left any earlier!" The chair swiveled around, and I stared eye to eye with none other than the zombified corpse... of Black Beard the pirate.
"Yaaaaaaaaarrrr...." Said the petrified pirate.
"Wow, you guys are persistant! I really hope I get a callback for all this mess," I sighed to myself as I lifted my trusty shovel and lunged at him.

GREATEST MOVIE LINES OF ALL TIME... OR UNTIL I THINK OF BETTER ONES!

Zane's List of THE GREATEST MOVIE QUOTES OF ALL TIME! Kudos to you if you can name which movies/books/plays they are from.

"Im french! What do you think I have this OUTRAAAGEOUS Accent for you silly king!"

"You're in the cage. Cage goes in the water. You're in the water... Sharks in the water. Our Shark"

"Its so hot, Milk was a BAD choice!"

"They've gone to plaid."

"Ach, Zis is no good, I'm Not killing anyvun!" (german accent)

"Its good to be the king!"

"But you don't got no legs Lieutenant Dan!"... "Yes Gump I know."

"Sorry for havin a fight in the middle of ya black pantha party."

"If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk."

"Mm. This is one tasty burger! May I have some delicious drink to wash down this tasty burger!"

"We've come for your daughter, Chuck."

"I'll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!"

"I am ripper, tearer, Gouger, slasher! I am the teeth in the darkness; the talons in the night. Mine is strength, and lust, AND POWER. I... AM... BEOWULF!"

"I... drink... your... MILKSHAKE!"

"Snakes... why did it have to be snakes"

"Look Ted, its Beef-oven!"

"BONESAAAAW IS READY!"

"Now listen my dear. Don't... put the candle... back"

"I just shot marvin in the face!"

"Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain"... "An athlete"..."and a basket case"... "a princess"... and a criminal"... "Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours; the Breakfast Club"

"Land snatching; there must be a legal way... here it is... Land, land, land... See snatch!"

There once was a fish from milwaukee,
Who smelled like a dirty Sockee.
He was a good fish, and then got his wish
And bought himself a walkee-talkee

There once was a man named Zane
His friends thought he was insane.
To there fright, they found they were right
and he suddenly dissolved in the rain...
cuz, he was like... a witch of something.

There once was a mokey named Moe
His mind was kind of slow
he suddenly felt sad, and met a young lad
and named his new son Frodo!

My first post

Hey hey folks and welcome to my blog! I love writing and blogging so I'll probably post a LOT on this blog. Well, While I'm here, has anyone else noticed how stupid these School decorations are? Im staring at an octopus wearing a graduates cap and writing in chalk... UNDERWATER! also, he has rosy cheeks. HE'S COLD BLOODED! HE CAN NOT HAVE ROSY CHEEKS! BLAH! I also always hated those stupid little cheery pilgrims and indians for thanksgiving. Do they realize the genocide and disease which the pilgrims brought upon this country? Its disgusting! I also love how the 7 year old is holding a musket. Yeah, real responsible pilgrim parents. Theres also a sign out in the hallway that says the sentence "The heck with the rest!" Does anyone else see the grammatical error? Whatever. Warning: theres probably going to be a LOT of rants posted on here. Bye!