The best audition of my life (a memoir)

It had been an excellent day. My first trip into the city alone had been a complete success, and the audition had gone wonderfully. Little did I know that it was all about to change.

As I walked out of Abrams casting agency, I took in a deep breath of that polluted city air that I love so much. Something was wrong though. Mixed with the stench of exhaust, dust, and Body odor which the city is so well known for, A strong tinge of decay lingered. Suddenly, a moving manhole cover caught my eye. At first I assumed it was simply a construction worker, coming up from underground for a coffee or sandwich. I then saw the decayed flesh, heard the mindless groan, and smelled the horrible stench that I would remember for the rest of my days. New York City was being invaded... by ZOMBIES!!!

Thinking fast, I picked up a shovel from a nearby road work area.
"all right, you brain munching fiends, they dont call me ZANE THE PAIN FOR NUTHIN!" I said, hoping to scare the zombies just a little bit. I then remembered that Zombies dont feel fear, so I rethought my strategy and smashed the limping ghoul right over the skull. One down, countless more to go. I realized that If I were to survive, I would have to catch the 5:50 PM ferry to atlantic highlands. I glanced at my watch and saw I only had 30 minutes left. It was just then that I saw an unfortunate pedestrian get overtaken by a zombie from the roaring 20's era (he kept on charleston-kicking the poor man) and I rushed over and took his bike. I may be no genius or soldier, but any fool knows that zombies certainly arent the fastest threat out there.
I also managed to pick up a fallen police officer's handgun with 6 bullets in the magazine. "Alright Zane," I thought to myself, "Time for the role of a lifetime, the hero!"

Unfortunately, my speed advantage soon dissapeared. I saw 3 swervy taxi cabs turn onto seventh avenue behind me. The living dead WERE DRIVING CARS! A large cab pulled up next to me and rolled down the window.
"Youuur on the caaaaash Caaaaaaaab" The miserable wretch moaned.
"I'd like to make a street shout out!" I replied as I shout out his tires and skidded onto 35th street.

Just a few more blocks. Just a few more and I would be alive. I felt the sweat running down my face, my blood pumping in my ears. I managed to jump off the dock just as the ferry pulled away. I couldnt believe it.... I had survived a zombie uprising. "That will make quite a blog!" I panted to myself as I walked inside the ferry. I wondered if the pilot had known about this horrible day and if it was known by people outside the city. I walked up the stairs to the bridge (thats the control room for all you landlubbers) and said "Hey man, thanks for sticking around for me. I would have been a gonner if you left any earlier!" The chair swiveled around, and I stared eye to eye with none other than the zombified corpse... of Black Beard the pirate.
"Yaaaaaaaaarrrr...." Said the petrified pirate.
"Wow, you guys are persistant! I really hope I get a callback for all this mess," I sighed to myself as I lifted my trusty shovel and lunged at him.