It had been an excellent day. My first trip into the city alone had been a complete success, and the audition had gone wonderfully. Little did I know that it was all about to change.
As I walked out of Abrams casting agency, I took in a deep breath of that polluted city air that I love so much. Something was wrong though. Mixed with the stench of exhaust, dust, and Body odor which the city is so well known for, A strong tinge of decay lingered. Suddenly, a moving manhole cover caught my eye. At first I assumed it was simply a construction worker, coming up from underground for a coffee or sandwich. I then saw the decayed flesh, heard the mindless groan, and smelled the horrible stench that I would remember for the rest of my days. New York City was being invaded... by ZOMBIES!!!
Thinking fast, I picked up a shovel from a nearby road work area.
"all right, you brain munching fiends, they dont call me ZANE THE PAIN FOR NUTHIN!" I said, hoping to scare the zombies just a little bit. I then remembered that Zombies dont feel fear, so I rethought my strategy and smashed the limping ghoul right over the skull. One down, countless more to go. I realized that If I were to survive, I would have to catch the 5:50 PM ferry to atlantic highlands. I glanced at my watch and saw I only had 30 minutes left. It was just then that I saw an unfortunate pedestrian get overtaken by a zombie from the roaring 20's era (he kept on charleston-kicking the poor man) and I rushed over and took his bike. I may be no genius or soldier, but any fool knows that zombies certainly arent the fastest threat out there.
I also managed to pick up a fallen police officer's handgun with 6 bullets in the magazine. "Alright Zane," I thought to myself, "Time for the role of a lifetime, the hero!"
Unfortunately, my speed advantage soon dissapeared. I saw 3 swervy taxi cabs turn onto seventh avenue behind me. The living dead WERE DRIVING CARS! A large cab pulled up next to me and rolled down the window.
"Youuur on the caaaaash Caaaaaaaab" The miserable wretch moaned.
"I'd like to make a street shout out!" I replied as I shout out his tires and skidded onto 35th street.
Just a few more blocks. Just a few more and I would be alive. I felt the sweat running down my face, my blood pumping in my ears. I managed to jump off the dock just as the ferry pulled away. I couldnt believe it.... I had survived a zombie uprising. "That will make quite a blog!" I panted to myself as I walked inside the ferry. I wondered if the pilot had known about this horrible day and if it was known by people outside the city. I walked up the stairs to the bridge (thats the control room for all you landlubbers) and said "Hey man, thanks for sticking around for me. I would have been a gonner if you left any earlier!" The chair swiveled around, and I stared eye to eye with none other than the zombified corpse... of Black Beard the pirate.
"Yaaaaaaaaarrrr...." Said the petrified pirate.
"Wow, you guys are persistant! I really hope I get a callback for all this mess," I sighed to myself as I lifted my trusty shovel and lunged at him.
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9 comments:
Ok, I'm not big on zombies but this was really good. You should continue on the boat like all the people turn into zombies. That would make for an exellent story/book. What ever you perfer.
That story was emaculate, riviting, suspensful, and full of adventure! You should definately keep on writing about this zombie terror. I think Zane the Pain should fall in love with a zombie. It would give the story another conflict and more crazy twists.
From the keyboard of your blogging pal,
Bitzy
P.S.
One of my dreams is to be on cash cab! Now I just hope a zombie won't be hosting it.
Zane, I definitely love this. I love zombies and i think it's written very well. Nice job :]
Wow. That is an excellant story! You should totally continue writing more of it. I can see that as being a great published book- it justs needs to be a book first, and maybe you can add some more description of the zombies and stuff! That way, people could really feel like they're there, you know?
As I read through all you blog, it's interesting. There's a lot of content. You truly portray a sharp witted persona with a "take it or leave it" attitude. Your interests are diverse amongst themselves, which I would never guess half of them. From that introduction alone, I would say you probably have much more to explain.
Zane,
Although I dont like zombies, this story is amazing. I think you should add onto this and make it into a book and get it published. You have great ideas and i think it would make a great book. I agree with Elizabeth, you should have Zane the Pain fall in love witha beautiful zombie women. It would be so cool.
Hey there Zane! I really enjoyed reading your posts, they're funny and creative. You need to post some more! I want to know what will happen to Zane the Pain, the Zombie Slayer, Boss Man, Actor Guy! yeah! lol Anyways I can't wait to read more.
from your blogging pal,
Bitzy
I do have an infatuation with zombie. Kudos for your topic choice. "..I saw an unfortunate pedestrian get overtaken by a zombie from the roaring 20's era (he kept on charleston-kicking the poor man).." now that was clearly HILLARIOUS. Most of the more recent zombie films have a solid new idea going. Zombies SHOULD be a near superhuman. Not binded by death, feeling no pain, they should be an never ending sprinting machine. It heightens the fear to be chased by a mindless creature with ridiculous speed and agility. Personally, they shouldn't be intellectual beings and they should only have the same strength as a normal human would. However, they should be very speedy, having not to worry about catching their breath and whatnot, agile and feeling nothing at all. It seems that without their ability to sense, they create an even more fearful stance and enriching them with more ability. However, zombies usually come with masses and the fear of being able to out do a zombie yet still be swarmed and eaten alive is a traditional fear. I loved your memoir. I was looking foward to the end of the begining story, though. I admire your random references amist a thickly plotted scenerio. I wouldn't read your writing for anything serious, yet you are a great entertainer. Which I do think you are aimnig for. Bravo for accomplishing your goal.
PS
I'm stick in 6th period doing nothing. I apologize for the lengthy reply.
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