Ok, first off. SAILING IS THE MOST PAINFUL SPORT ON THE PLANET. Now that that's out of the way, Me and my friend lindsey came up with some jokes about sailing. Just but "You might be a sailor" after each one.
-if your head looks like a potato from chernobyl.
-if youve ever sprained your ankle and were told to "Walk it off"
-If youve ever been sung by a jellyfish in your eye and were told to rub dirt in it.
-If youre willing to sail in an industrial shipping lane, but the sound of thunder makes you cringe.
-If youve ever touched the side of the River Lady... while it was moving.
-If you see the Mr. Clean magic eraser as the greatest invention of the 20th century.
-If you see the Toms River as the worlds biggest toilet.
-If the golfers at the toms river country club want impale you with a golf club.
-If you have ever guarded a flag pole with the will to maim anyone who gets in your way.
-If youve ever considered a 20 knot wind as "A nice breeze"
-If youve ever flipped off a fishing boat full of old people.
-If you cant walk down a hallway without at least murmuring "STARBOARD!"
-If youve ever held onto a moving motor boat with your teeth.
-If you see a pocket knife as a tool everyone should carry.
-If youve ever cursed 20 times in one sentence.
-If you have the urge to spin around every time you bump into someone in a hallway.
-If youve ever gotten a life jacket tanline.
- If you see nothing dangerous about slaloming the seaside bridge's concrete supports while in an 16 foot fiberglass boat.
-If your automatic answer for every problem is "Duct Tape and vinegar"
Ill come up with more as I think of them. If anyone who reads this is a sailor, be sure to add your own. Ive got pages of these!
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4 comments:
Hmmm....
Being stung by a jellyfish and then being told to rub dirt in it...Check.
Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is the best invention of the 20th century...Check.
The TRCC golfers want to impale me...Check
Pocket knife is a necessity...Check
...Except I've never sailed before in my life. I've just lived with the river in by backyard(literally..very literally) for 12 years and have used to TRCC golf course as a short-cut and optimum walk-taking grounds...and sledding/snowboarding grounds...and fair play land in man-hunt...lol.
Terry Pratchett sounds outrageous! That is so genius starting off a book with something so ridiculous. These books seem so random. Random books are good; they hold my attention better.Plus anything that refrences "Pulp Fiction" is fine with me. I love, love, love that movie. Where do you hear about these books? I've never heard of them, nor the author.
For once, I have even the slightest of enthusiasm for a book. I'm very much into philosophizing and deep thinking. The way you explain how he starts off with a teasing thought to understand throughout the novel, truly shines home in the interest throughout the series. Direct humor is rather bland to me. However, the the examples of parodies even made me chuckle. These books appeal to me for having much to think beyond the ink and paper. Thanks for the suggestion!
You make Terry Pratchett's humour very enticing. Everyone knows dwarves can't make gold from lead! I agree, the printing press is a very clever analogy. It's great how you are always so enthusiatic! It deeply convinces people of what you are saying.
~maria
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