Travel Log: Vermont

Day 1: The Drive

We left at around 9:30 as we embarked on our 6 and a half hour drive. On the way, we picked up Paul, my Dad's friends who would be staying with us at the condo in VT. I read half of Terry Pratchett's "Thief of Time" on the way up. When we got there, we opened christmas gifts. My mother Got bathing suits, my father got new shorts, and I GOT TICKETS TO SEE THE JERSEY BOYS!!! Ok, so after dinner (spaghetti and meatsauce made from venison) we watched "The Dark Knight" and went to sleep.

Day 2: The rough day

We went skiing at around 10 in the morning. It kinda sucked. eh, actually it was alright. I only skied until 1:30 though, too tired. That night, we had a HUGE dinner of beef, salad, grilled asparagus, and lobster. I then took a shower and relaxed some more.

Day 3: The Russians are coming!

We went skiing again, and it was much more fun. The conditions were much more favorable, and I felt a little less sore and tired, as I got accustomed to the altitude and climate. That night, we ate tacos, and watched blazing saddles as well as Jack*ss number two. (Its a movie Ms. Morrison!) It wasnt all fun and games though. I went to the hot tub that night, and this HUGE family of russians was there. Seriously, there were at least 20 of these guys. Ok, So after my soaking, I go into the sauna and see them throwing snow on the heater, the heater is electric, and produces a dry heat, so any water will cause it to short out. So I say to them, "Dont do that" and this fat one covered in hair (like something out of Borat) says "Who says" in a thick accent. I reply "The sign outside, it says no water on the heater." And this young russian goes "Its snow, its different than water," in an equally horrific accent. The fat one then goes "If you have problem, too bad." I then called the front desk and OWNED THOSE RUSSIANS! YEAH! IRON CURTAIN MY FOOT!

Day 4: The drive home.

We spent all morning loading up the car. The drive home stunk. Im now writing this about an hour after arriving. Time to eat pizza.

Indiana Jones: the musical!

Characters:





Indiana Jones: You know the scoop. Fedora, middle aged, cynical.


Colonel Dietrich: Main antagonist. Aged Nazi officer. Takes his job seriously, and doesnt see what he does as Evil so much as necessary for his country.


Marion Ravenwood: Love interest for Indy. Tough, independant, and intelligent.


Belloq: French. Indys Archaeology rival


Salla: Indy's longtime friend and owner of an archaeology dig team. Egyptian. Bulky, deep voiced, and warm hearted.


Major Toht: Much more sinister and evil than Dietrich, Toht enjoys torture and pain and will use both to get what he wants


Marcus Brody: Small role. Curator of a museum. old and wise.


Satipo: Indy's jungle guide during the beginning of the play. A coward but still trained to survive the wilderness.


German Soldiers: Tenors and baratones. Always Listen to Dietrich


Cairo denizens: folks who live in cairo... duh.








Songs in order:


ACT ONE:





Overture


Indiana Jones and the song of theme!- Indiana Jones and Satipo


In my hands- Indy, Belloq, and Marcus


I have a bad feeling about this- Marcus and Indy.


Its been so long- Indy and Marion.


Its gotta be somewhere! Indy and Sallah


In my hands: Reprise- Marion


Its Gotta be somewhere!- Sallah, Indy, and Cairo Citizens.


Act I finale- In my hands- Sallah, Indy, Marion, Dietrich, Toht, Belloq, German soldiers.





Act II





Ive got a bad feeling about this- Toht, Dietrich, German soldiers.


Archaeology is more than digging- Sala



Making it up as I go- Indy, Sala, Toht, and Marion.



Ive got a bad feeling about this (reprise)- Toht, Dietrich, german soldiers



Indiana Jones and the song of theme (finale)- Full company

My Budweiser commercial

Reeeeal men of genius...

Today, we celebrate you Zane

Zaaaane yeeeah

Everyday, you make those around you feel better about themselves... by showing how much of a dork you are...

Oooh, Who watched the history channel last night?

Your social blunders list includes such gems as "the spanish were very rude," "I wish I was a zombie" and "Nazicles"

Dont forget finding nemo

Your useless roster of hobbys includes Warcraft, nerdy movies, and of course, playing a chinese guy in the play

Bo-Doh-dee-oh!

So whether it be memorizing the spelling of "Sphincter" at a crucial time, showing your physical ability by falling down the stairs, or memorizing the lyrics to "Knights of the round table," you bring laughter and joy to those around you... by being a total goon

We dance whenever were able- *falls down stairs*

So today we salute you, Zane Schacht. Keep on accidentally saying something that doesnt sound dirty in your mind but really is, or knocking down loud metal objects during play preformances, or coming up with stuff noone in their right mind would say out loud

Heath ledger isnt dead, just under the witness protection program

So have a cold one, Zane Schacht. No, We dont mean a beer, we mean an ice pack for your foot you crushed under that scenery lumber before.

Reaaaal men of geenius

My nation of Zane-sylvania

I bet many of you are reading this expecting to find a silly, satirical jabbering of nonsense satirizing my personal beliefs and ideas. WELL THINK AGAIN FOOLS! This is SERIOUS. This imaginary country is going to WORK, whether you like it or not!

Step 1: Location, Location, Location.

I will barter with the country of Romania to sell me a small part of its heavily forested land. Its best for a fledgling nation if Its as secluded as possible. Logging will be prohibited, however, and humans shall build around the forests rather than destroy them

Step 2: Don't mess with me: Armed forces.

The militia of Zane-sylvania will be mostly guerrilla warfare. We shall use our forests to our advantage, and the sniper training will be a must for all volunteers in the militia.

Step 3: HEY! MUST BE THE MONEY!; Economy.

The Economy of Zane-sylvania will be all about tourism. In a world like ours, people will pay good money to enjoy a rural area. Zane-sylvania will be all they could want and more. Another major export could be minerals, but only in regulated amounts. Agriculture could play a major role possibly.

Step 4: The Anthem.

The national Anthem of Zane-sylvania will be the "When I'm calling you" song from Dudley Do-right. Don't argue.

Step 5: Allies:

The country should be strongly allied with the central European countries, as well as Russia. The United States can be neutral. England is neutral too.

Step 6: Government:

The country would be run by a council of citizens. This council members are determined by the votes of the public. I will play no part in this government, I just provide the country's name.

Ok, lets open this baby up! LONG LIVE ZANE-SYLVANIA!

The Baddest Bad Guy Ever: Andrew Ryan

All of my friends know that Im obsessed with the video game "Bioshock." What sells this game, however, is its main antagonist, Andrew Ryan. Ryan drives the story line in an impressive way; He provides the setting, atmosphere, and enemies you have to fight. Allow me to elaborate; Andrew Ryan was born in the soviet union, pre-Lenin era. As he grew older, he realized the horrors of communism, and instead fled to the United States. Much to his disappointment, the US was not what he was promised; Financial and social equality, and a lack of true creativity or progression. The final straw was when the United states bombed hiroshima. Having lost all his patients with the world, Ryan and his colleagues built an underwater city known as Rapture. This entirely self sufficient utopia took only a handful of societys brightest and best Artists, athletes, industrialists, and Scientists. The Utopia quickly became a Distopia, however, as science began to overthrow morality and personal freedom became anarchy and corruption.

What makes Andrew Ryan such a great villain is the fact that he isnt necessarily Evil. In fact, in his eyes YOU are the antagonist, coming to plunder his city. Hes not a bad man, hes simply a visionary who sees you as a threat. Of course, hes no nancy-boy. Andrew Ryan is stern, severe, threatening, and most of all, Dangerous. When he means to achieve something, he does it, and doesnt stop until the job is done. Even with his dying words, he shows that you're just as much of a villain as he was. HES SO COOL!

Quotes:

"I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No!' says the man in Washington, 'It belongs to the poor.' 'No!' says the man in the Vatican, 'It belongs to God.' 'No!' says the man in Moscow, 'It belongs to everyone.' I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Rapture, a city where the artist would not fear the censor, where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality, Where the great would not be constrained by the small! And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well. "

"What is the difference between a man and a parasite? A man builds, a parasite asks 'Where's my share?' A man creates, a parasite says 'What will the neighbors think?' A man invents, a parasite says 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God...'"

"I believe in no God, no invisible man in the sky. But there is something more powerful than each of us, a combination of our efforts, a Great Chain of industry that unites us. But it is only when we struggle in our own interest that the chain pulls society in the right direction. The chain is too powerful and too mysterious for any government to guide. Any man who tells you different either has his hand in your pocket, or a pistol to your neck."

"A man chooses, a slave obeys."

The Producers!

The Producers by Mel Brooks is the greatest musical ever written and performed. Here’s the scoop, it tells the tale of Cowardly accountant Leopold bloom, and down-on-his-luck producer Max Bialystock. Together, they set out to produce the worst play ever on Broadway Here’s the reason: If a Broadway show closes before the scheduled ending, the producers don’t have to pay the backers, who put stock in the show, and take their money and run. So Max and Leo have to find not only the worst play ever written, but the worst director and actors. The play they choose is "Springtime for Hitler," written by the eccentric, manic, and loveable neo-Nazi Franz Liebkind. "Its the mother load!" exclaims max as he reads the Hitler praising dialogue and music. After meeting Franz and gaining the rights to the play (after being forced to sing and dance the fuehrer’s favorite tune : Der Guttentag Hop-clop), Max and Leo need to find the worst director in town, and Max knows just the man for the job; The flamboyantly gay Roger Debris. After gaining his allegiance by promising him the Tony for the show, Max needs the money to finance the play. It’s revealed that he is a male prostitute for old ladies. After raising two million dollars ("There’s a lot of little old ladies out there!) Nothing seems to be in the way of the Doomed show. That is until Franz, who was going to play adolf Hitler in the show, ironically breaks his leg on opening night. The only person who knows his lines is Roger, so instead of the show being a serious, historically accurate homage to Hitler, it becomes a silly comedy, and the show is actually so tasteless and whacked that is HILARIOUS! This means bad news for the producers, and they go to prison for fraud. They are pardoned after their NEW musical "Prisoners of Love" Brings "the joy of music into the hearts of every rapist, murderer, and mugger at sing-sing." Leo and Max go on to produce more tasteless musicals (south Passaic, a streetcar named Marty, Cats) and Roger goes on to become a famous Broadway actor. Even Franz gets a happy ending and becomes a famous playwright. In the end, alls well that ends well, and the producers are silhouetted against a wall of light bulb signs blazing their names.

What makes "The Producers" So funny is that it basically follows the same formula as the fictional play. Its racist, raunchy, prejudice, and rude, but all these traits make it very funny; its so bad, its good. The characters are all very personable and likeable (Franz is my favorite character) and the music... geez, don’t get me started on the music. I love this musical to a ludicrous extent, and I REALLY hope they do it at the school because I already know pretty much all of the lines. Here’s a few samples:


"Ze Fuhrer vas not a mousy little mamas boy, ZE FUHRER VAS BUTCH!"
"I was scared that I was going to go to jail, but I didn’t realize that I was already... in Jail! I spend my life counting other people's money. People I’m smarter than, BETTER THAN! When am I going to get my share, when is it going to be bloomsday! I want, I want, I WANT EVERYTHING IVE EVER SEEN IN THE MOVIES!"
"Bloom, I’ve got the money, now all we gotta do is put on the biggest flop in history!"
"Not many people know zis, but ze fuehrer was a TERRIFIC dancer."
"Quick darling, back in the closet!"

10 minutes of insanity: A blog by Zane

FISHSTICKS! The emperor has no clothes, take a picture! dried frog pills. That swordfish sure looks shifty.... ITS A TRAP. Hold on a moment, please. Whazzat? NO! Igloos are attacking the swedish bank of bacon grease! Get the president on the line. I DONT KNOW! HEHEHEHEHEH! No way! SHUT UP GRIZZLY BEAR BREATH! ummmm... ok? listen up noobs, in my squad you do what I say, so throw those potatoes into those mailboxes! I call it, THE CUIZANARTAGRAMAPHONE, dear god its reached CRITICAL MASS! Im hungry. Nachos sound good. NO LENNY I WILL NOT THROW YOU THROUGH A WINDOW. Gulp. I have your knife mr. Roat! ZAPPLE DAFFLE DOOF! The human torch HATES RAIN! The color brown makes me nervous. Penny arcades abound in the glorious land of WISCONSIN! Never you mind Mr. Willikins! Que Cristo? Bawbbidy boopy? I like sausages. ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH MY FRIENDS! ONCE MOOOOORE! CHARGE! Oh dear, I seem to be oozing blood from every hole on my face. Wait a minute, make that every hole on my entire body. Sizzle grams; send a letter to your loved ones, then give them third degree burns! ITS THAT EASY! We're hungry hungry hippos, hungry hungry hippos, we should really go on a diet.

Oh no, 3 minutes to go!

Sour cream and onion sauce is all over the bathroom! That boy needs therapy Mrs. Destructor. Christmas lights taste like lighting. NOOOOOOOOO! Wake up bacon bits! I cant feel my lungs! Do I have a pulse? HRUUUUGHH! Im ok folks, just slight radiation burns! WIZZLE WAZZLE FEE FAI FO FAZZLE! Knicker Knockers. Kaboom!

You have just witnessed 10 minutes of typing with no thought process or direction. Cherish that memory, for in this world, everything must have a structure, a story, a purpose. I say no! I just stare at a wall and let my fingers fly.

Thats probably not a stable idea is it....

Geez, did I really type that?

Journal Time: Blog-o-sphere!

I've been really bogged down with work at school over the last couple of weeks. These butty assignments have included MAJOR persuasive essays and various tests and quizzes on the grapes of wrath, Lab reports abound and TONS of tests in math and science, AND various scripts and projects in Creative Writing. Heres the weird part though; I have nothing due today. No tests, no quizzes, only one class with homework. I feel empty inside! Its just plain awkward! Its amazing how school can have that effect on a persons mind. For example, after a school play is over, I often feel awkward going home on the normal bus. So, not doing the play has had a less favorable reaction than I hoped for. Alot of people are all like "SAY WHAAAT!?" when I tell them the truth. I just dont have time for it! Im gonna miss a week of school in Mexico, and Pilot season starts at the end of January, so Im gonna go on a LOT of auditions. Plus, (and I hope Perry doesnt read this) I honestly don't really like that play so much. SO SUE ME!